What the Hell Are We Internet Hacks Going to Moan About Now?

Well, here we are again. Dog tired from a hard Sunday's work at the garden centre. To be honest, I'm only doing this column today because of certain website guidelines. I did consider leaving it until my next day off, on Tuesday, but, here it is.

So what am I going to run on about today? Well, I thought I'd talk to you about this thought that occurred to me the other morning, while lying in the bath.

You see, for some unknown reason, I began to think of the WWF's purchase of WCW, and I came to the following, startling conclusion.

WHAT THE HELL ARE WE INTERNET HACKS GOING TO MOAN ABOUT NOW?

Kendo Nagasaki

Many people, when asked who their childhood heroes were, would probably name a sporting hero, an actor or actress, a musician, or someone, say, like Neil Armstrong, who achieved something great.

Sure, I have many people like that who were childhood heroes of mine, but a particular favourite of mine was not a pop star, an actor, or even an astronaut.

His name was Kendo Nagasaki, and in my opinion, was the greatest heel ever to step into a British wrestling ring.

Wrestlemania X-7 Predictions

In this little section, I will dust off the old crystal ball, in an attempt to predict the outcomes of the WM X-7 matches. In the past year or so I've had a pretty good success rate at this sort of thing.

Wrestlemania Moments

Well, WMX-7 is upon us, so I thought I would get a bit nostalgic, and look back over the years to the Wrestlemanias I have seen.

WRESTLEMANIA V - They say that the first time is always the best, and I still have very fond memories of this, my first Wrestlemania. More than anything, it was watching this great event from The Trump Plaza in Atlantic City that got me hooked on pro wrestling, a long, 12 years ago.

Green Lantern

Recently, one of the oldest fictional characters in comic book history has achieved world-wide television recognition, thanks in part to WCW wrestler Greg "Hurricane" Helms. Helms tells all who are willing to listen that Green Lantern, whose power rivals that of Superman himself, is the greatest super-hero of all time.

The General Election - Who Was That Man?

Although I've never written about politics before, I thought I would take a quick look back at the recent general election campaign here in Britain, and in particular, the North Norfolk constituency. First, let's look at the three main candidates;

Random Ramblings March Part 2

Well, I'm going to say it, so let's get it out of the way! ALL HAIL LSD! LSD RULES! No, before you ask, I'm not on some sixties drug trip.

You see, I was as pleased and surprised as everyone to hear that my favourite Dudley of all, Little Spike, had joined the ranks of the WWF. Since the first time I saw Spike, I've had a soft spot for him. It's probably because that Spike is roughly the same height and weight as me, and in a wrestling world seemingly dominated by men in excess of 200 pounds and standing over six feet tall, Spike seemed like a breath of fresh air.

WCW/Dead Parrot Sketch

Today, I have a world exclusive for you. Given the current state of WCW, I managed to get a transcript of a meeting between an executive from Time Warner, and an executive from Fusient Media. For their own safety, I will not be naming them. In the transcript, the Time Warner man will be known as TWM, and the Fusient Media man will be known as FMM. Here's the transcript.

Open Letter to WCW

Below is a letter which I sent to WCW via their website. As I don't really expect them to put it on their site, I am publishing it here. If you want to send an e-mail to WCW about their current situation, e-mail feedback@wcw.com

Well, I have to admit I am a little saddened by WCW's apparent demise, but to be honest with you all, I saw it coming a long time ago.

As an Internet wrestling writer, I have followed most aspects of the wrestling business for many years, and as far as I can see, WCW is going belly up because of many things. Not pushing the younger talent in years gone by, constantly pushing the over-the-hill guys like Hogan and Flair when they were obviously past it, and ruining great careers, like those of Bret Hart and Vampiro.

Random Ramblings March

Well, looks like the old crystal ball wasn't working, doesn't it? Looking back on the list I gave in my last column, I didn't list Paul Heyman as Jerry Lawler's replacement on Raw. Guess it had something to do with all those rumours about him joining the creative team. At least I wasn't the only one who got their predictions wrong though. Those rumours of an all-ECW stable rampaging through Raw were a bit wide of the mark.

To be honest, I think Paul did okay, considering he hasn't done commentating on a regular basis for years. Will he be around for the duration? Hard to say. The only way we can see if he has what it takes to step into The King's shoes is by waiting until April 1st. In my opinion, we'll be able to see who Vince McMahon is placing his faith in, when we see who gets the chair next to Jim Ross in Houston.
 

Chyna's Book

Well everyone, it seems that stock in Two Sheds, Inc. is getting higher and higher all the time. After the disappointment of the Daily Smackdown fiasco, and the recent recruitment of yours truly to two other newsletters, I received two more offers this week. I won't say what they are, but all I will say is that they are under consideration.

Sadly, the other string I was hoping to add to my bow has broken. I had tried to get in touch with the editors of a new newsletter, The Sports Report, about writing a different column for them. The Sports Report is a general sports newsletter, mainly dedicated to American sports. They had said they were looking for new writers, so I put forward my name, offering to write about soccer, cricket, boxing, tennis, whatever! Sadly, no reply. A shame, really. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy writing about wrestling, but it would have been nice to take my writing career down other paths as well. C'est la vie!
 

Random Ramblings January Part 4

Normal service has been resumed as I have returned with my usual column. Thanks to The Professor for his guest spot. Please remember that if you want to give him any feedback about his guest appearance in TSR, please email him on professor417@t...

Anyway, back to business. I did say that I would continue with the nostalgia theme, which I started last week, but I'm going to hold off on that for a while. I'd like to discuss a few other things. The WCW sale - there, I mentioned it.WCW Sin - well, I've seen the reports on Sid's nasty injury. Not to pleasant by all accounts. Although I haven't seen the footage yet, which is due to be shown on Nitro, it's not that nice. Descriptions of the injury reminded me of two similar injuries I saw in football (or soccer) matches over the past few years. Many football fans will recall Coventry's David Busst, and his horrific leg injury which cost him his career. It was so bad they wouldn't show it on television. And I've also seen the pictures of his leg after the countless operation. Not a pretty sight. Last I heard, the poor sod still walks with a limp. And Celtic's Henrik Larrson, when he broke his leg not long ago. Thankfully, he's now back to full fitness. I don't know if he'll see this, but I'd like to wish Sid all the best. Get well soon big man!
 

Random Ramblings January Part 3

Welcome to the latest instalmet of TSR. I hope everyone is fine. Well, the long Christmas break I am being forced to endure will end this coming Sunday, as I return to the mind-numbing, energy sapping talent wasting job of mine! Oh well, I have to get my money somewhere I suppose!

Anyway, this week, a wave of nostalga has swept over me. This is because of three things.

The first - Channel 4 showing the 100 Greatest Number One Singles, as voted by the British public. Although I didn't actually vote, we Brits got it right by putting (in reverse order) Hey Jude by the Beatles, Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, and Imagine by John Lennon at the top spot. Three great songs, and a tragedy that two of the greatest performers of all time, John Lennon and Freddie Mercury, are no longer with us.
 

Random Ramblings January Part 2

Well, I made it to the 21st century. Everyone kept telling me that the real 21st century would begin on 1/1/2001. So how do I feel about being in a different century? Well, having watched science fiction films from an early age, years ago, I would have expected to be dressed all in silver at this time, instead of a pair of blue jeans and a new white sweater. Oh well!

So this is the first TSR of 21C. Not much has changed here. So what am I going to talk about today? There's a few thankyous and heys I'd like to get out of the way. Hey and thanks to Jordan Allsworth, for voting me his Column of the Year. I gratefully accept this award. Thanks buddy! Hey to Crusher! Thanks for the email with regards to what I said about the World's Strongest Man Competition, and Mark Henry. For anyone who cares, Crusher is an old friend of multiple-time World's Strongest Man winner and former WCW star Bill Kazmaier! And Graysox! How you doing? Thanks for the email! Nice to know that someone likes what I do! I would send you the proverbial bunch of flowers, but the garden centre is closed for the holidays at the moment! Will a box of chocolates do? And finally to Basil Richards, who thinks I should get paid for doing this. I admit now it would be nice to earn a living doing this stuff. I did apply for two advertising jobs, but sadly, my talents were not good enough!

Random Ramblings January

A lot has gone on since my last regular column, before my awards thing, so I'm going to talk about a few things here.

This whole Lita/Malenko thing could be played a little better, and it could re-elevate the WWF Light-Heavyweight title again. Think of this  possibility - Jeff wrestles Malenko and wins thetitle. Uncle Vince orders a number 1 contenders match for the title - between Matt and Malenko. Matt wins after Lita interferes, setting up a title bout at the Rumble. Matt and Jeff begin to argue quite a bit, causing them to lose a couple of tag matches. This infuriates Lita. Meanwhile, Malenko badgers the powers that be into making the Rumble match a threeway dance. Malenko wins - with Lita's help. Lita dumps the Hardys and joins with Malenko.
 

George Harrison

It was with a great deal of sadness that I learned of the death of George Harrison this morning.

September 11th

To say that the events of Tuesday, September 11th shook the world would be a massive understatement. On that day it seemed like a giant, evil demon chewed the world up and spat it out.

WWF Summerslam 2001 - TV Review

By now, most Internet wrestling hacks have written about every aspect of Summerslam 2001. They've given in-depth reviews about each and every match, and have moved on, telling us what happened on Raw, and looking forward to another live Smackdown broadcast.

WWF Wrestlemania X-7 - TV Review

Well, I'm going to say it. After last year's piss poor effort, Wrestlemania X-Seven proved to be one of the finest Wrestlemanias in a long time. From start to finish, there was top notch action. Mind you, your average Raw was better than last year's WM.

The Biography Channel's Bodyslam Week - TV Review

24TH FEBRUARY 2001
This week I am doing a little mini-series. The Biography Channel here in Britain has a special Body Slam week, running Monday-Thursday. Although some of you in the US have probably seen these before, I'd still like to review these programs here.