The show begins with a six person tag bout, pitting MNM against LOD 2005, and their partner, last year’s Diva Search winner Christy Hemme. Christy looks absolutely bloody gorgeous here. I’m definitely developing a soft spot for her. (Jokes to the usual address.) Back on topic, what we have here is an entertaining little opener, but I’m starting to think that MNM v LOD 2005 is getting a tad stale now. Anyway, to the delight of the crowd, our Christy picks up the win - with the Doomsday Device! As Animal has Melina on his shoulders, Christy comes flying off the top rope and connects. A three count later it’s history.
Backstage, Eddie Guerrero goes and pays a visit to Batista. Good lucks all round here.
Back in the ring, is that Bob Sapp? Thank god it isn’t, as some guy I’ve never seen before, Bobby Lashley, takes on Simon Dean, whose brought a waiter and a stack of cheeseburgers to the ring with him. Simon promises to eat all the burgers if Lashley beats him. Basic squash job here to get WWE’s latest muscle-bound mountain over here, which is a shame because Simon is quite a talented wrestler. Lashley gets the win with an inverted power slam. Lashley seems totally devoid of character. Maybe it is Bob Sapp after all.
It’s fatal four way time next, as my boy Chris Benoit defends the US title against Booker T, Christian, and Orlando Jordan. Some fast paced and exciting stuff here, with all four men putting in a good showing, and the action was so fast it was hard to follow at times. Benoit retained the belt after Christian tapped to the sharp-shooter. Afterwards, Mrs. T has a go at the old man for losing another one.
Next up, a man I’ve always been a fan of, Hardcore Holly, takes on someone I’ve seen very little of, Mr. Kennedy. To say that Holly is over with the locals would be an understatement. Mind you, Holly is over wherever he goes, except for certain parts of the internet. Kennedy impressed the hell out of me, and with a great character and charisma (are you watching Bobby Lashley), he can go far. A good bout here, with Kennedy working over Holly’s arm, Holly coming back well, and Kennedy picking up the win with a rolling forward slam off the second rope. Damn impressive move there. Afterwards, former La Psuedo Frenchie Syvain Grenier, who is now a fashion consultant apparently, comes in and attacks Holly. But by then, nobody gave a damn. Guess which one won’t be over with the fans in that feud!
Backstage, we see Simon Dean starting to eat those burgers, with Mr. (lack of) Charisma looking on. Elsewhere, Mrs. T is still having a go at the old man about losing the match, before he is interrupted by Mr. Kennedy. Surely this is a lesson for all those married wrestlers out there - never take the missus along with you when you’re wrestling for a major title.
David v Goliath time again, as JBL takes on Rey Mysterio. On ok bout here, nothing special to write home about though. It’s the usual big man v small man exchanges, with Rey playing the underdog throughout, and looking like he might win the whole thing by taking JBL out with a 619. But as he’s just about to go for the West Coast Pop, JBL counters with the clothesline from hell to pick up the win.
History is made next, as the Undertaker takes on Randy Orton and his old man in the first ever handicap casket match. As always, the Undertaker’s entrance is very impressive, but if I’m going to be totally honest here, this match just didn’t do it for me. I just couldn’t get into it, and the ending pretty much summed up exactly how I felt about this. Having stuffed the Undertaker into the over-sized casket, the Ortons wheeled the thing up the ramp and set fire to it. Boy, we haven’t seen that before, have we?
Surprisingly late in the show, Nunzio defended the Cruiserweight title against Mexicools member Juventud. After the disappointment of the last bout, this was like a breath of fresh air, and showed just what these kind of wrestlers can do if they’re given the platform to do it, and if they’re not used as jobber fodder for the bigger guys. A great little match-up here, with Juventud picking up the win and the championship after a Juvi Driver. Afterwards, the Spanish announce team interview the Mexicools. Don’t ask me what they said.
Backstage, Simon Dean finishes off burger number twenty, before the (lack of) charismatic one tries to make him eat one more. It’s too much for the fitness guru, as he goes to the toilet to puke. Lashley really needs to take some acting lessons.
Main event time next, as Batista defends the World title against Eddie Guerrero. Is Eddie heel, or is he face? It’s a hard call to make here. Sadly, for me this bout just didn’t live up to expectations. Seeing as how Eddie made JBL a star last year, I was kind of hoping he could do the same thing to Batista this year. These two just didn’t seem to click. Maybe both guys were having an off night or something. This match just didn’t do anything for me. Of course, Batista came out on top, taking Eddie out with his sit-down power bomb, and afterwards, both men shake hands, with Eddie still teasing us that perhaps he’s still a cowardly heel.
In conclusion, not a bad show here, probably the best Smackdown pay-per-view I’ve seen in a while, although it’s obvious that in some aspects the creative team need to get some original ideas, and they definitely need to give the cruiserweights more time to show what they can do. Match of the night goes to the match between Nunzio and Juventud. Shame the main event wasn’t up to scratch though.
See you at Taboo Tuesday.
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