As many of you know I've recently been collaborating with a new writing partner, a guy called A.I. We've been brainstorming for a few months now, bouncing ideas off each other, and coming up with quite a few good ones. In fact, he's the guy who co-wrote the Deep Purple and Hulk Hogan/Metallica stories a few months ago.
Now I think it's time to share our latest effort with you, and I thought that seeing as President Trump is portraying himself as the ultimate peace maker, as the guy who can stop all wars, there's one particular war that he should try his hand at stopping.....
The room was abuzz with anticipation as reporters and camera crews crowded in, their attention fixed on the podium at the front. President Trump strode confidently to the lectern, a broad smile lighting his face. Standing beside him, tall and menacing, was Darth Vader, his imposing figure casting a palpable shadow over the proceedings. The only sound breaking the tense silence was the mechanical rhythm of Vader's deep breathing, resonating from beneath his distinctive black mask.
With a flourish, President Trump began his address. "Folks, I've got a tremendous plan, believe me, to end this war between the Empire and the Rebels. It's gonna be huge, just huge," he announced, his tone exuding unwavering confidence.
Darth Vader shifted slightly at Trump's side, his helmet tilting as if to appraise the situation, yet he remained silent, allowing Trump the stage.
Continuing, Trump addressed the assembled journalists with characteristic bravado. "Now, I know some of the fake news media is gonna say, 'Oh, Trump doesn't understand the complexities of intergalactic politics.' But let me tell you, folks, I know more about the Death Star than any expert, any expert. And I've been telling Darth Vader here, 'You've got a great thing going with the Empire. Don't let the Rebels win.'"
A journalist raised her hand, catching the President's attention. He pointed to her, inviting her to speak. "Yes, go ahead," he said.
"Mr. President, how do you plan to convince the Rebel Alliance to agree to your peace plan when the Empire has been, in essence, a force of terror in the galaxy?" she inquired.
Trump dismissed the question with a wave of his hand. "The Rebels are losers, folks. They don't know what's good for them. Darth Vader here will tell you, the Empire is a powerful force. We can work something out, believe me."
At this point, Darth Vader finally spoke, his deep, resonant voice commanding the room's attention. "The Empire will not be swayed by empty promises, Mr. President. We will not be defeated."
President Trump chuckled in response. "I love it, folks. Darth Vader is a tough negotiator, I like that. But let me tell you, I've made some of the greatest deals in the universe. I can work with him."
Journalists exchanged skeptical glances, but Trump pressed on undeterred. "Here's the plan: the Empire will give the Rebels a chance to surrender, and we'll make a great deal out of it. We'll build a new Death Star, and the Rebels can help us pay for it. It'll be tremendous, believe me. And Darth Vader here will be in charge of, you know, 'persuading' the Rebels to see things our way."
For a fleeting moment, Darth Vader's helmet tilted, hinting—perhaps—at a suppressed smile beneath the mask.
As the room erupted into a barrage of questions, President Trump raised his hands to signal the end of proceedings. "That's all for today, folks. Believe me, this peace plan is gonna be huge."
With the press conference drawing to a close, Darth Vader leaned in towards Trump and, in a low voice, cautioned, "This had better not be a negotiating tactic, Mr. President."
Trump grinned back at him. "Don't worry, Darth. It's gonna be a great deal. Just great."
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