Wednesday, December 31, 2003

First Impressions

There's a saying in life that first impressions count, and this really applies as far as the wrestling industry is concerned. In Britain, digital television channel Friendly TV have recently begun test transmissions for the new Wrestling Channel, which is due to launch fully in a few months time. So while I've found the WWE product a bit wanting in recent months, I decided that with the help of Friendly TV, it was about time to sample other fruits of the wrestling tree.

The Failed Title Reign of Lex Luger

Over the past few years there's been a great deal of debate about just what is pivotal and most controversial moment in wrestling history. Since November 1997 many have said that it's the infamous Montreal Screw job involving Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, and Vince McMahon. But those of us with even longer memories may think back to the events of the summer of 1991.

"The Nature Boy" Ric Flair was still riding high as the NWA was re-branded WCW. As the company's head booker, Flair used the old tactic that bookers who are also active wrestlers have used for decades, he kept the World title on the one man he could trust more than anyone else, himself. At a time when several young stars such as "Stunning" Steve Austin and Marc "Johnny B. Badd" Mero, and more established stars like Barry Windham, Sting & Lex Luger were yearning for more time in the spotlight, everything that WCW seemed to revolve around Flair. The latest incarnation of the legendary Four Horsemen were doing all they could to make sure that Flair remained on top of the world.

RIP Crash Holly

A few weeks ago I began one of my columns with the words "this sucks". Again, I'm going to use this phrase.

I found out a short time ago that Mike Lockwood, the artist formerly known as Crash Holly, has died. He was just two years older than me.

I don't want to sound like stuck record, but again, this sucks. Coming so soon after the deaths of Stu Hart and Road Warrior Hawk, I find myself writing about the death of a wrestler, about the death of a person who has entertained me a great deal while watching this great industry.

Of course, many fans in Britain will know Mike for his work in the WWE, first as the tag-team partner of Bob "Hardcore" Holly, and then as the man who first defended the Hardcore title under the 24/7 stipulation rule.

Goldberg v Kane

While watching Raw this week, and the build-up to the Survivor Series on November 16th (just eight days after my birthday, hint hint), the smart mark in me began to come to the fore. The armchair booker began to rear his ugly head again, and began to think that maybe, just maybe, the Raw main event for the show should be something different entirely.

At this moment in time Bill Goldberg is scheduled to defend the Raw World title against the returning Triple H, just one month removed from the previous pay-per-view offering. However, if this aspiring writer had been in charge of the booking committee, it would have been a totally different story.

In another Survivor Series match, Kane is once again scheduled to go up against Number One Son in an Ambulance match. Again, if yours truly had been in charge, this would be a totally different story.

Zach's Been Banned!

It's no secret that I'm not a big fan of Zach Gowen. I don't enjoy watching him wrestle. I never have done, and I probably never will. In my opinion Vince McMahon only hired him to prove the old adage that he can beat a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest.

I admire the kid for living his dream, for showing a tremendous amount of heart to try and make a go in the business he's loved for most of his life, especially with all that's happened in his life, but it still doesn't stop me from thinking that as far as the WWE goes he's nothing more than a freak show with a very short shelf life.

However, after reading some interesting news on various web sites, I'm led to believe that as far as Zach Gowen goes, and as far as my home country of Britain goes, political correctness is going a little too far.

The Reign of the Warrior

When the mighty World Wrestling Federation burst onto our television screens just one year after British wrestling limped away from the viewing screen, one of the guys who helped launch the product in our country was a man called Jim Hellwig, better known as the Ultimate Warrior.

The Warrior may not have been the best wrestler in the world, but he certainly had the charisma, the look, the body, and one of the best entrances in the WWF at the time.

The Warrior was one of those larger than life characters that just leapt our of the screen at you. At a time when plumbers and refuse collectors were the norm in the wrestling business, the Ultimate Warrior was just that, a warrior, a veritable human wrecking machine.

Who can forget that first feud we saw, as the Warrior and the late-Ravishing Rick Rude fought tooth and nail over the Intercontinental title, at a time when winning and holding onto championships for more then five minutes actually meant something. Who can forget the way Rude won the title at Wrestlemania V at the Trump Plaza in 1989? The cowardly way that Rude's manager, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan held the Warrior's legs as Rude pinned him.

RIP Hawk

This sucks. When one gets older in life, you expect those you've looked up to in the various fields of entertainment you've watched to pass on. Actors in films you used to watch on television during the school holidays pass on having lived a full and complete life.

But when you hear that a veritable legend of an industry you have followed all of your life dies at the young age of 45, it hits a nerve, a very raw nerve indeed.

Earlier today it was announced that Hawk, one half of the Road Warriors/Legion Of Doom tag-team had died. Details of his death had not been released yet.

Nobody Gets It Anymore

It's been quite a while since one of my columns has appeared on the Internet. Ill health and other matters have kept me away from both the world wide web and the world of wrestling.

But during this time I've done quite a bit of thinking. Lying in my bed with chronic headaches and stomach complaints left me wondering about certain things in my life, one of them being the wrestling industry. And during these many hours of contemplation, time and time again I came to just one conclusion - nobody seems to get it anymore.

Defining what I mean by "it" may take a long time. Way back when I first got into wrestling, back in the good old days of watching Kendo Nagasaki and Big Daddy on a Saturday afternoon, I watched wrestling purely as a form of entertainment, nothing more. I didn't care about anything that happened outside the ring. Hell, I was only a child at the time. I didn't care much about anything.

As the British wrestling product departed our screens and the WWF proved to be one of the biggest reasons Sky secured a large number of subscribers in the late 1980's and early 1990's, I rediscovered my love of wrestling. Larger than life characters and over the top story lines grabbed my attention week in and week out, as we all anxiously waited for the big events, hoping that certain feuds would come to an end and that new feuds would start their lives off with a bang.

Lance Storm - The Dancing Fool

This past week on Raw, I saw something I thought I would never see.

Lance Storm was dancing. And smiling. And had a hip, new trendy entrance theme.

What is the world coming to?

It's been a while since Steve Austin appeared on the Raw stage, pillow and blanket in hand, and announced to the world that Lance Storm was officially boring. Now, over the past few weeks, we've seen one of the best wrestlers in the world gradually broken down until he resembles nothing more than a dancing fool.

For me, Lance Storm was one of the best wrestlers in ECW history. He was one of the highlights during the dying days of WCW. Despite their faults, the WCW obviously had faith in the guy as a wrestler. If they hadn't, they wouldn't have put three singles titles on him in less than four weeks.

Triple H - The Cowardly Heel Played to Perfection

Summerslam 2003 is now but a fading memory (until I watch the repeat showing this coming Thursday on Sky Sports that is). There is so much to discuss about this show, but there is one aspect I would like to centre on, and it's something that many fans are up in arms over. However, they fail to see the grand scheme of things.

Cast your mind back to the final match of the card, the Elimination Chamber. Five challengers to Triple H's World Heavyweight Championship, one of them his very own team-mate. Many say that the match didn't live up to it's predecessor at the Survivor Series last November. While this may be the case, it fulfilled it's main purpose, in telling a story that, barring injury to those involved, can continue to be told for a few months to come, perhaps right up until Wrestlemania.

Best of Rainbow - Album Review

Given the nature of this website, it may seem very odd to you that I have submitted a best of/greatest hits compilation for the Classic Albums thread. However, given that this is a band formed by the god Ritchie Blackmore, then this is a different case entirely.

Global Wrestling Force -What Could Have Been

There seems to be a recurring theme in my columns of late - what if? Recently, for British website 1 Stop Wrestling, I wrote about how I would have booked WAW's October Outrage IV show last year. This time, I'm going to talk about what could have been, if it hadn't been for wrestling politics.

By now everyone will know the name of Jon Farrer. Jon, like me, originally made his name writing about wrestling on the Internet, before moving on to writing for a few magazines, eventually landing a job with Total Wrestling magazine.

Last year Jon formed his own wrestling company, the Global Wrestling Force, and held his first show in Preston, called "Battle of the Champions", which featured a tournament in which Jonny Storm was crowned the first GWF World Champion. The event was a resounding success. All of those who attended the event went away happy, and it wasn't long before Jon announced a follow-up show, "Aftermath", to be held in Blackburn last February.

What happened at that show is now the stuff of legend. After a successful fan festival at the King's Hall, a veritable who's who of British wrestling gathered for the show - Doug Williams, Jonny Storm, James Mason, Jody Fleisch, Zebra Kid, Robbie Brookside, James Mason, as well as some well-known American stars, the legendary Jake "The Snake" Roberts, and CZW's Trent Acid and Johnny Kashmere.

The WWE Cruiserweight Division: Going to Waste

When I first began to write about professional wrestling almost five years ago, one of the very first columns I wrote was about the then-WWF Light-Heavyweight division. This was around the time that Christian, then under the guidance of Gangrel, won the Light-Heavyweight title from Taka Michinoku in his very first televised match.

Taka's challengers for his title had been few and far between up until that point. Having won a tournament final against Brian Christopher, and feuded with the future Grand Master Sexay for months over the title, Taka hadn't done much on WWF television, until he met Christian on pay-per-view.

While Taka didn't receive a rematch on television, Christian would go on to lose the title to none other than Dwayne Gill, or rather, Gillberg. The fact that the champion at the time was nothing more than a glorified jobber said it all about the direction that this division was taking at the time.

ECW Can Return

There has been much talk in wrestling circles during the past few weeks about the return of a wrestling company that is regarded with godlike status by some die-hard fans. That company is Extreme Championship Wrestling.

After the WWE gained the rights to the entire ECW video library and all the logos connected with the company, may have stated that they would once again like to see ECW hold shows, under the leadership of Paul Heyman. But at the same time, many have pointed out that this wouldn't truly be ECW, that it would be nothing more than a WWE pawn, with the same writing teams that are at times heavily criticised for the way they plan and execute the weekly Raw and Smackdown shows.

It is my personal belief that as a company, ECW can live again. Shows can be promoted under the ECW banner, under the watchful eye of Paul Heyman. But it wouldn't work the way it did before. Here is my idea.

Vince McMahon & Zach Gowen - The First Meeting

Once again, I have a world exclusive for you. Some of you may recall that two years ago I published the transcript of a meeting between Fusient Media and AOL/Time Warner executives with regards to the sale of WCW. Just recently I also obtained an exclusive transcript of a Diary Room session featuring Big Brother UK contestant Cameron Stout.

Well, I've got another exclusive for you, for it would seem that Zach Gowen, one of the most-talked about wrestlers at the moment, actually approached the WWE for a job a year ago, long before his appearance for NWA:TNA. What you are about to read is a transcript, secretly recorded, of a meeting between Zach Gowen and Vince McMahon that took place in McMahon's office last year.
 

Kane - Let's Make Him More of a Monster

When the character of Kane was first introduced in the WWF in October 1997, it was done at a transitional time as far as wrestling goes. WCW were firmly ahead in the Monday night wars, and Vince McMahon knew that his company needed a new direction. It wasn't long after Kane's first appearance that the WWF product began to show the first signs of change as the so-called "Attitude" era was upon us, and the on-screen product became more reality-based, moving away from gimmicks which, at the dawn of the Internet age, were becoming nothing more than a laughing stock. The pompous snobs, the country music singers, and the guys from "parts unknown" were gradually phased out. The blue-blood Hunter Hearst Helmsley became the degenerate Triple H, and the dead man Undertaker became the
American Bad Ass.

Kane is thought of by many to be one of the last of the gimmicks, a character that has prospered in an environment that changed drastically during his time in the spotlight. From silent, brooding monster, with the help of first X-Pac, and later, Rob Van Dam, Kane came out of his shell, became a person the fans could really relate to. He changed from being a "French fried freak" to being "one of the guys." Until recently.

Does Wrestling Need Goldberg?

When the WWE announced that none other than the mighty Bill Goldberg had been signed during this year's Wrestlemania, the sports entertainment world was abuzz with excitement. Not since Hulk Hogan signed with WCW in 1994 had such excitement gripped the wrestling industry. With the exception of Sting, one of the last WCW-created stars who had never worked for the WWE was finally in the employ of Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

It is now nearly four months since Goldberg signed. Nearly four months since the promo aired around the world during the Wrestlemania broadcast. Nearly four months since Goldberg appeared on Raw and announced that The Rock was "next".

So what has happened in this short space of time in the career of Bill Goldberg. The answer is, well, not much really.

The Return

It's been about five or six weeks since my last regular TSR column has appeared on the Internet. Some of you, probably about six, have probably wondered what has happened to me. So I'm going to be completely honest with you.

It's coming up to the third anniversary of The Two Sheds Review first appearing in the Internet. My first column, about the effect that a group of wrestlers known as the Radicals were having on the WWF really set the ball rolling. Since then it's been one hell of a roller-coaster ride.

But the wrestling world of 2003 is a lot different to the wrestling world of 2000. I don't think I need to point out the most obvious differences to you, do I? The "big three" is now the "big one". My column now appears all over the Internet, and I even work for a wrestling promotion here in merry old England. Mind you, if you believe what my own government is saying now, England doesn't actually exist. But that's another story for another time.

Now comes the total honesty part. This may shock some of you, so those of you who suffer from a nervous disposition (I include myself among that number) should look away now.

I think I'm falling out of love with the wrestling industry.

It's Not Fun Anymore

In my last column, I wrote about how attitudes towards the wrestling business, particularly the attitudes of the fans, had changed over the years, and how, for some, wrestling didn't seem as fun as it once used to be.

This is going to get quite a bit of heat, but I really do think that the fans themselves are part of the reason that the wrestling business isn't fun anymore, particularly those with access to the Internet. Although I still consider myself a wrestling fan, it really infuriates me when all other fans seem to do is pick apart everything that goes on in the industry. They think that just because they've watched a few videos and have been to a few shows, they think they know it all. They've forgotten how to enjoy the product.

But the conduct of the fans isn't the only reason that wrestling isn't fun anymore. There are people in the industry who have to take the lion's share of responsibility for what is happening.

Ignorance is Bliss

When I was growing up, and I got a little too nosey for my mother's liking, I was always told that ignorance is bliss. My mother may have died nearly twenty years ago, but the past few days I've found myself thinking about what she used to tell me.

And I found myself thinking that this simple little saying perhaps has a great deal of relevance in the professional wrestling world of today.

Some of you may have noticed that in recent times I've changed my writing style a little. I used to write as if I thought I knew it all about the wrestling industry. I was slowly turning into one of those smart marks, the kind of people who seemingly know everything about everything.

Now my style has changed. Whenever I review a show, I try to write from a fan's viewpoint. I don't watch a match to pick up on every little mistake that is made. Accentuate the positives, as the old saying goes.

Miss Elizabeth

Being a wrestling fan for most of my 31 years, you kind of get used to it when guys you've been watching for years or had watched years ago pass on. But the news today that Elizabeth Hulette, known to the wrestling world at large as Miss Elizabeth, had died came as something of a shock.

Like many wrestling fans in Britain, I became aware of Elizabeth in 1989 when Sky Television first showed the WWF. At the time the Mega-Powers tag-team of "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan had just split up. Elizabeth, as their manager, was caught in the middle. She had trouble deciding who to side with at their upcoming WWF title match at Wrestlemania V. Eventually she decided not to take sides, to remain as neutral as she possibly could.

A Dangerous Game

Let's start this column by taking a trip down memory lane.

November, 2001: After the failed WCW/ECW Invasion angle was finally laid to rest, "Nature Boy" Ric Flair returns to the WWF, as the new co-owner of the company. From time to time, the 50+ Flair dons the wrestling attire, most notably against Vince McMahon at Royal Rumble 02 and against the Undertaker at Wrestlemania 18.

Shortly after Wrestlemania 18, Flair becomes the "owner" of Raw after the brand extension, while still continuing to pull on his wrestling boots from time to time. It isn't long before Vince McMahon returns to Raw to regain control of the entire company from Flair.

Deciding that he has one good run left in him, Flair becomes a full-time wrestler again, and engages in high-profile matches with Eddie Guerrero and Chris Jericho, before turning heel and becoming the manager and occasional tag-team partner of Raw World Champion Triple H. At the time of writing, Flair is scheduled to team with Triple H and Jericho against Shawn Michaels, Kevin Nash and Booker T at Backlash.

Random Ramblings March

It's been a while since I've written a column covering a few different subjects, but on this sunny Friday afternoon here in merry old England, I suddenly felt inspired to put pen to paper as it were.

The big one, Wrestlemania, is now just over a week away. I've read many things of various fan forums that Wrestlemania just isn't that special any more. To this I say nonsense. Wrestlemania is, and always will be, the grand-daddy of them all. From the first Wrestlemania in 1985, this event has literally put the wrestling business on the map. It is the biggest wrestling show of all time, the show in which the WWE stars always seem to crank their efforts up a notch or three. Just ask any wrestler who has competed on that show, and they'll tell you how damn important it is.

But one thing does worry me about this year's show - Kurt Angle. The world and his wife knows all about Kurt's serious neck injury, which could not only end his career, but his life as well.

Brian Pillman

On Sunday, October 5th, 1997, Brian Pillman was scheduled to wrestle Mick Foley, in his Dude Love persona, at the WWF pay-per-view Bad Blood.

This match never happened. Brian had been found dead a few hours later, having apparently suffered a heart attack at the relatively young age of 35.

When satellite television gave the British viewer the chance to explore the US wrestling scene a great deal in 1989, one of the first performers to virtually leap from the screen at you was one "Flyin'" Brian Pillman, at the time competing for Jim Crockett's National Wrestling Alliance. With a combination of good mat work, high-flying skills, natural athleticism and natural charisma, Pillman was one of the most over wrestlers one could find in the early days of the British wrestling fan's new-found love affair with the American wrestling scene.

GWF Aftermath: What Went Wrong?

This week I had hoped to bring you a review of the Global Wrestling Force "Aftermath" show in Blackburn, which was due to take place this past Sunday. Sadly, events outside of the ring led to what could only be termed as a fiasco.

I had been invited to the show by GWF promoter Jon Farrer, who also writes for Total Wrestling magazine. So, along with loyal WAW-ites Doreen and Susan, and WAW stars the Sweet Saraya and the Zebra Kid, we made our long journey northwards from Norwich to Blackburn, arriving at the King George's Hall around 5pm, just as the fan festival was beginning to wind down.

The first thing that struck me was the absence of the most important aspect of any wrestling show - the ring. The doors to the hall were due to open around 6pm, with the show due to start around 7pm. I thought this was odd. As well as covering WAW shows in the past year, I had also reported on FWA, TWA, and UWA shows, and at each show, the ring had always been ready a good 90-120 minutes before the door opened. Ricky Knight once said to me that it doesn't make for good business for the punters to see the ring being put up. It detracts from the enjoyment, the believability of wrestling.

The Embarrassment of Scott Steiner

While watching the WWE Royal Rumble this past week, I was presented with the evidence that shows just how far apart the top titles of the respective brands are.

On Smackdown, Kurt Angle wears the WWE Championship with pride. Since the brand extension, we haven't heard any stories of political machinations backstage involving Angle. The man has got on with his job. In the past few months, he's been on the opening matches of pay-per-views, wrestled for tag-team gold, before winning Smackdown's number one championship in December. This past Sunday, he and Chris Benoit, despite the fact that they have already faced each other in various encounters on pay-per-view before, once again stole the show. These two continue to have good matches with each other. Angle continues to have good matches with anyone he is put in the ring against. He could probably even have a good match with a broomstick, if the WWE promoted this match correctly.

Random Ramblings January Part 2

Over the past few weeks I had resisted the temptation to write about an angle which, quite frankly, I had found annoying, infuriating, and a little freaky at times.

Yep, you guessed it. Al Wilson and Dawn Marie.

I had resisted the temptation to write about this angle because it seemed like the world and his wife already had. But then I read the Smackdown spoilers, a report from a fan who had attended a recent taping. That's when I heard about the latest plot twist.

To cut a long story short, Dawn Marie had humped Al Wilson to death.

Billy Gunn & Ron Simmons

News came out of the WWE this week that two of it's longest serving employees could be about to hang up their wrestling tights for the last time.

It's been rumoured that Ron Simmons, aka Faarooq in his many guises, has been considering retiring for some months now. He hasn't been on our screens much lately because of family considerations, but since the split of the APA, he hasn't really done much. He's teamed briefly with Mark Henry and D-Von Dudley, but as far as direction goes, nothing has really been done with his character since the brand extension.

Random Ramblings January Part 1

Firstly, a happy new year to one and all. Hope you all managed to get through the Christmas holidays and all that!

So let's get down to business somewhat. What's been going down? Well, let's start with a subject that has interested many a wrestling journalist of the Internet variety for a few months now. Yours truly, while trying to promote the good name of the World Association of Wrestling, has taken quite a verbal pasting at the hands of the good folks over at the UK Fan Forum. Why?

I admit that at times I may be a little overeager in promoting the work of my buddies, and the work I do on their behalf on the old World Wide Web, but it really annoys me when some people on this particular forum make stinging and personal attacks on yours truly, and the forum moderators, already annoyed at what I have done, apparently do nothing to stop these verbal attacks, even though they are against forum rules. They then ask me to discuss the situation via e-mail, but insist on airing the dirty laundry in public, something which, when I do it, they protest against.

Queen - A Kind of Magic - Album Review

It was little more than a soundtrack album to one of the best films of the 1980's. Add a song from another film, and some videos that were considered to be revolutionary at the time, and you had Queen's "A Kind Of Magic" album.

Oasis - (What's the Story) Morning Glory? - Album Review

It was 1996. The Brit Pop phenomenon was at it's highest. Bands like Blur, Suede, Republica, and their like were storming up the chart, selling millions of albums. And at the top of the pile were two brothers from Manchester, Noel and Liam Gallagher, and their band, Oasis.

The Mac Are Back!

With the release of their new album, "Say You Will", I thought I would take the opportunity to sit back and reflect on just why I've become such a big fan of Fleetwood Mac over the past few years.

Remembering Jon-Eric Hexum

Mention the name of Jon-Eric Hexum to anyone, and they probably won't know who the man is. He wasn't the best actor in the world, and probably wouldn't have won tons of awards for his work, but when he died in tragic circumstances in 1984, aged just 27, one of the most promising careers in Hollywood came to an end.

Deep Purple - Bananas - Album Review

On Monday, August 25th, a Bank Holiday here in Britain, veteran rockers Deep Purple released their latest album, Bananas. A landmark of sorts, as Purple are now one of the few musical acts to have released new studio albums in the 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's and 00's.