I’ve been dealing with health issues for three years now. From what was diagnosed as sciatica, through a cancer scare, through what was misdiagnosed as a chest infection, through pneumonia and a damaged diaphragm, through dealing with deep internal scare tissue reacting with nerve endings, though to an enlarged heart.
The most frustrating thing of all isn’t the constant pain, or the regular visits to medical facilities, or the copious amounts of medication I have to take morning, noon and night. No, the most frustrating thing is that I can’t do the things I used to do.
I’m not just talking about work, going out every morning and actually doing something to earn a wage.
I’m talking about normal, everyday things, things such as being able to walk to the end of the road without having to stop to catch my breath.
I’m talking about being able to raise my arms so I can get things off high shelves, or bending down so I can get things off low shelves.
I’m talking about being able to bend down and pick things up off the floor.
I’m talking about being able to take a decent journey on a bus without having to deal with any pain.
I’m talking about feeling constantly tired and having to take regular breaks, sometimes falling asleep as often as an American President.
I’m talking about not having to rely on taxis or buses just to get into town, a journey that used to be a nice twenty minute walk while listening to music or a talking book on Spotify.
It’s frustrating because there’s an absolute ton of stuff I used to be able to do that I just can’t do any more. Simple things that you, the person reading this, may take for granted.
I get funny looks from people. Why is he so slow? Why is he walking that way? Why can’t he cross the road faster? Why is he like that? He doesn’t look that old!
It’s called pain. It’s called having a health problems. It’s called feeling like an old man even though I’m only 54 years old.
And it’s really pissing me off.
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