The Return of ECW

I had already planned this week's column by last Saturday. It was only work and other commitments that stopped me from actually writing it.

I had everything planned out in my mind. I was going to discuss the WCW Invasion angle. You see, a lot of Internet writings had really annoyed me last week, and I was going to write about it in this column. The gist of the column would have been this - I was annoyed that, after a few run-ins, an in-ring "confrontation", and just one match, the WCW Invasion angle on Raw last week was being portrayed as a complete flop by just about every Internet writer going.

This I thought I was wrong, and this was what I was going to write about. I was going to disagree with everyone, even the "old man" (you know who you are!). I was going to plead with everyone to give it a chance. I was going to remind everyone what a mess WCW was in when WWFE took over. I was going to remind everyone that it didn't exactly take a couple of months of Vince McMahon's time to get the WWF where it is today, that in my estimation, it took nearly twenty years. Then, it happened.

The wrestling gods cast their gaze on the world below, saw what was happening, and....Extreme Championship Wrestling returned, if only in name, and Monday, 9th July, 2001, will be remembered as the day the wrestling world became one - in a way.

So why am I writing this, considering that I haven't even seen Raw yet? Because everyone else is. That's why. It's what I sometimes call Jones Syndrome, known everywhere else as Keeping Up With The Jones.

After the lethargy that greeted Raw and Smackdown last week, where the fans seemed more interested in watching a fight in the crowd rather than a fight in the ring, the McMahons, along with a certain Mr. Heyman, seemed to have pulled off probably one of the biggest coups ever in the wrestling world.

And the fact that they managed to keep it all a secret is all the more astounding. Last week we had news stories going around saying that Smackdown was going to become a live show because of the Internet spoilers. And they managed to keep this big story a secret.

So is ECW back, if only in name. While I was willing to give the Invasion angle another, small chance after last week, this week I will be watching Raw with great interest. No, that's a bit of an understatement. I will be watching Raw with great anticipation and excitement!

Having discussed the return of everyone's second favourite promotion, I'm going to tell you all a little story.

About a month before I began work at the garden centre, some six and a half years ago, the man who worked there before, a Mr. Roddy Kerr, failed to show for work one rainy day. His mother, a rather stern woman by the name of Olga, telephoned my boss, Derek Smeda, saying that Roddy would not be in for work that day. The reason - she didn't want him to get wet in the rain.

And then they wondered why Roddy wasn't kept on after his trial period.

Do you see any comparisons here? Perhaps to a certain event that happened this weekend? Of course, I'm referring to Judy Bagwell ringing in sick for her son, Buff. To this, I would like to say the following;

HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA!

Boy, I've heard some stories over the years, but someone please tell me, this is a joke, isn't it? Surely this big, rough, tough, wrestler could do this sort of thing?

Bagwell could do well to have a word with Triple H, who went through the final spots of a match with an incredibly serious leg injury. Now things don't go the way he exactly wants them to, he throws a hissy fit, and his mother rings in sick for him. This shows a great deal of immaturity on Bagwell's part.

I would try to think of an insult for him, but mommy dearest would probably try to hit me with her handbag!