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I've been playing around with one of those AI art generator things, generating images for some of the old Anglo-Force characters in a ...

Thursday 31 December 1998

You Smell What the Rock is Cooking?

In this, the second of my series of articles about the wrestling business, I had originally intended to write about the WWF Light-Heavyweight division, what was wrong with it, and what could be done to improve it, but recent events at last week's Survivor Series and on Monday Night Raw changed my mind.

One of my predictions for the winner of the championship tournament was Dwayne Johnson, aka Rocky Maivia, aka The Rock. I thought that the final would be between the Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin, but once again, the machinations of Vince McMahon, and his son, Shane, robbed this great athlete of the title he so readily deserved.

McMahon also played Mankind for a fool. Mick Foley is also a great wrestler, the true king of hardcore wrestling, a man who is rightfully known as the hardcore champion.

You see, everyone thought McMahon was setting Mankind up to be his personal choice of champion, giving him an easy opponent in the first round, making him fight harder than ever before against Al Snow and the aforementioned Austin, and getting through to the final.

Meanwhile, he seemed to be making it hard for the Rock, who had been getting ever more popular with the fans, rightfully earning the self-proclaimed title of the People's champion.

His first round opponent, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, didn't show because of his knee injury, so McMahon sent down the Big Bossman, who had already lost at the hands of Austin, as his opponent. The Rock easily disposed of the Bossman in a record four seconds. In the second round, he faced the Intercontinental champion, Ken Shamrock. Once more the Bossman made his presence known, as he tried to hit the Rock with his night-stick, instead striking Shamrock, giving the Rock the win.

The final, between Mankind and the Rock, promised to be a classic. The Rock, who had been thrown out of the tournament and had fought his way back in, wrestled what appeared to be the match of his life, but things promised to go awry when Vince and Shane McMahon came down to ringisde. Shane was now back in his father's good graces, after having screwed Austin out of his chance in the semi-finals.

Then, with Mankind down, the Rock used a move associated with Bret Hart, the sharp-shooter, and in a move which brought back memories of lasy year's Survivor Series, McMahon ordered that the bell be rung, and the Rock was proclaimed the new champion, even though Mankind had never given up.

Then the full extent of the conspiracy came to light, as the Rock was openly congratulated by the McMahons, as Vince began to brag about his big plan, and how Mankind had proved so gullible.

The next night on Raw, the McMahons once again bragged about how wonderful they were, as Vince revealed his own "corporate" team, as during the program he recruited Shamrock to be part of his team, along with the Rock and the Bossman.

Austin, meanwhile, was having none of this, making sure that a promise made previously by Shane was kept. He was granted his title shot, but in retrospect, with Shamrock and the Bossman on the outside, he never stood a chance. Now, with the champion firmly in Vince McMahon's pockets, he may never get another title shot. A truly sad state of affairs.

I have a lot of respect for Vince McMahon, as I've said before, but the WWF was a far happier place when he worked behind the scenes, and just told the world how wonderful his champions were, rather than making sure how wonderful they are.

Also on Raw, a sad incident happened. The personal problems of Mike Reznick, aka Road Warrior Hawk, were once again brought into the public eye, as he attempted to take his own life. At this moment, the extent of his injuries are unknown to me, but as someone who has suffered his own share of personal trauma over the years, I wish Mike well, and I hope he makes a speedy recovery, and that he gets his life in order soon.

I would also like to jump on the bandwagon and congratulate the new Governor of Minnesota, Jesse "The Body" Ventura. I have never met Jesse, and even though I never saw him compete, I admired his style of commentary, and the regular verbal sparing matches with Vince McMahon. If he's as good a politician as he was a comentator, then he'll go far. Just imagine, Jesse the President staring down Saddam across a wrestling ring.....hang on.....didn't something similiar happen in a Frankie Goes to Hollywood video?

And finally, on a recent edition of WCW Monday Nitro, jackass of all trades and Vince McMahon wannabe Eric Bischoff made the following announcement: "Ric Flair won't be wrestling tonight. He couldn't pass the physical because he's just too old!" Couldn't the same be said of most of your athletes, Eric?

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