Monday, 11 August 2003

11th August 2003

Hey gang. What's popping? It's been a while since I laid down a few words of a personal nature on this site, and quite a lot has happened on old planet Two Sheds since my last diary entry way back when.

    You all know the news by now. The partnership that was meant to last for decades, the partnership that was meant to usher in the next great era of British wrestling has come to an end. After just eighteen months, I resigned from my post as web master and chief reporter of the World Association of Wrestling.

    The vast majority of people reading this probably thought that this would never happen, but some people saw this coming months ago. So why did I leave? Will I reveal all in a kiss-and-tell style encounter. Perhaps, one day, if I'm feeling in a bad mood.

    At the time, me and the wrestling business are through with each other. Sure, I'll still be a fan, still watch Raw and Smackdown, and, of course, the new wrestling channel when it begins broadcasting later this year, but as far as actually working in the business, being on the inside, as it were, that's history.

    Although I said I didn't want to go into details, the sad fact is that at this time I feel like I've lost a ton of friends because I'm no longer in the business, men and women whom I met while working for WAW, who treated me with respect. I said to someone at the time that once I left WAW, I would find out just who my true friends were. These would be the guys who would take the time out just to telephone or e-mail to say hi, and to ask me how I was.

    This has certainly happened in the past few weeks, and I will forever be grateful for what they've said and done.

    However, it has disappointed and hurt me that people I thought I could call friend for the rest of my life have seemingly ignored me, now that I can no longer do anything for them on a professional level. I feel like I've been used on a professional and personal level.

    By writing this, am I hoping that they will perhaps see the error of their ways and suddenly get in touch with me again? Perhaps, but I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for this to happen. If they're reading this, they'll know who they are.

    Things have been pretty rough for me in the past few months, to a point where I reached rock bottom. I learned then that there are people in this world I can count on, no matter what, and that's my family. That old saying is true - blood is thicker than water. They came through for me, even the ones who I thought had turned their back on me last year and left me when I needed them the most. If it wasn't for them, I probably wouldn't be sitting here and writing this now.

    It hasn't helped that the social service dragged me into their offices in Norwich for a medical examination, just to make sure I was still eligible to claim benefit. Despite the fact that three doctors had told them that I was unfit for work, they insisted on dragging my ass into their offices. They kept me waiting for over an hour before I actually saw the doctor.

    This was the good part. He checked my file, asked me a few questions, then said to me it was obvious to him that I wasn't in any state to work, and that I shouldn't have been asked to go to the office in the first place. He left the room for a few moments, consulting with one of his colleagues, before coming back into the room and telling me I should go. Later he called Paul saying that he was going to write to his boss saying that I shouldn't have been called into the office in the first place.

    A week later I got the letter giving me the results of the examination. I'm cleared to receive benefit until next July. I don't even have to provide a medical certificate any more. For all intents and purposes, the Department for War and Pensions has declared me disabled.

    In a way I feel like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I don't have to rush back to find work. I can take it easy, ease my way back into the thick of things as it were. I can sit on my ass and go and take my benefit out of my bank account every two weeks for the next year and not worry about a damn thing.

    But I'm not like that. More than anything I'd like to dive straight back in, get a job and go straight back to work. But I get the feeling that this wouldn't be a good idea. There's some stuff I've got to take care of first.

    The main thing is the counseling. Yep, after a year, I was finally referred for counseling. I had my initial assessment, which took about twenty minutes, before I was told I was going to be put on a waiting list. It looks like I've got to wait three fucking months before I can actually get to see someone. Well, I guess that's what the health service is about in this country. We Brits are certainly good at waiting for things to happen.

    Of course, regular visitors to this web site will know that when I said this was my first personal journal entry in a while, it was a bit of a lie. You'd have read the column about how my former employer, Mark Edwards, was found guilty of assaulting yours truly this past January.

    Well, more news came from that neck of the woods. Apparently Mr. Edwards has taken on a business partner to help run the garden centre, and apparently they've already had a massive argument, just one week into the partnership. But remember, you're reading this little story on the Internet, and you know what the Internet is like as far as rumours are concerned.

    On a side note, I saw one of the guys Edwards hired when he first took control of the business, a guy called Dave. Dave now works in a hardware shop in Cromer. I didn't say anything to him when I saw him there. I thought it best not to. Besides, the conversation would have just turned to the asshole Edwards.

    I still feel let down by someone who I thought was a friend before Edwards took over the business. I haven't heard from this "friend" in over a year. This "friend" has moved away from Cromer and has now made a new life for themselves. But this "friend" has left behind everyone who helped them out during their time at the garden centre. I don't even have an address or telephone number so I can get in touch with them. I just keep thinking about how I helped them out when everyone was down on them, slagging them off, spreading lies around about them. I put a few people straight in defence of this "friend", and all I've had in the past year is one f'n e-mail. And I only got this after I e-mailed them giving them a right bollocking.

    So if you're reading this, and you are the person in question, or know the person in question, two words - FUCK YOU.

    Another "old friend" popped his head around the door as it were, trying to cause trouble again, the chap in question being my old sparring partner Mike Aldren. Mike has now left the hallowed halls of Smash Wrestling and has struck out on his own. But that still hasn't stopped him trying to cause trouble on the Internet, not just with me but apparently with a few other people as well, coming the "big I am" bit with a few people.

    So Mike, if you're reading this, I'm not going to take THAT article off this web site. You'll just have to live with the fact that someone in this wonderful world just doesn't like you.

    As the last few paragraphs have been down in tone, let's lighten things up a little. Yours truly is hopefully going back into print, as I've been offered a regular slot on the Wrestling Wrap Up fanzine. My first article was sent in a few days ago. I've yet to hear just what they thought of it.

    Sadly, the spot I really wanted, fanzine wise, I didn't get. But I'd like to go on record wishing Powerslam writer Mo Chatra all the best with his new Shootfabe fanzine. Maybe I'll get a shot on their one day, eh Mo? Hint hint.

    Of course the Internet column is still doing well. If you haven't read any recent wrestling additions to this web site, I urge you to do so now. Well, after you've finished reading this, that is. I know this is going to sound like I'm praising myself, but my recent columns on Kane and Goldberg have to be some of the best work I've produced in well over a year. For that matter, my Wrestling Wrap Up column was also a good piece of work. Keep an eye on the new Two Sheds fan forum for ordering info.

    Anglo-Force continues to be planned and plotted as well. At the moment I'm undecided about just how these stories will be published. I have three options at the moment. The first is the easy one, and publishing them on the Internet. I've already secured an account and domain name for this. If I take this option, I can also include characters from other fictional genre. If I don't charge people for reading these stories, and make no profit from them, I wouldn't be infringing on copyright.

    The second is submitting them for publication, either as a novel, or as a comic. I've got the contact address for Marvel Comics, so this may be an option.

    The third is to finance the publication of the stories myself. I've found a publisher who would do this, and I had the idea that if I could secure funding for the first book, and sell it via my web site, I could use the profits from the first book to fund the second, and the profits from the second to fund the third, and so forth. My original plan had been to fund the first Anglo-Force book with the profits I would have made from writing a biography on the Sweet Saraya, but obviously the ending of my working relationship with WAW put an end to this plan.

    The Anglo-Force stories aren't the only ones in the pipeline at the moment. I've got a veritable Pandora's Box opening up in my psyche at the moment. Many of these stories would be lapped up by the Internet crowd. All I can say is watch this space.

    So while the government is allowing me to sit on my ass and collect my benefit, you can see that I am keeping busy. The creative juices are flowing like they haven't before.

    But as writers cramp begins to set in, and as Bruce Lee prepares to kick the bad guy's ass in "The Big Boss" on CNX as I speak, I leave you with the knowledge that I am on the mend. I'm still hurting with regards to the way certain events played themselves out, but I'm getting better. And
if I could leave you with just four words of wisdom, these would be the words;