Tuesday, 24 August 2021

The Time Travel Dream: Should We Tell Them?

In the past I’ve shared with you some of the dreams I’ve had, dreams which included strange occurrences such as footballer Frank Lampard burning my house down and professional wrestler Jeff Jarrett painting my shed orange.

The dream I’m about to share with you is actually quite a personal one, and I have to admit that I did have second thoughts about putting pen to paper as it were, and while I have no idea what those other dreams meant it’s pretty obvious that I wouldn’t need a dream interpreter to find out what this one means.

This dream saw me and my brother Michael somehow travelling back in time. We found ourselves standing outside our old four bedroom house on Lynewood Road. We could tell instantly that it was April 1982, and the family were gathering to celebrate my brother Jon’s 21st birthday.

Tuesday, 17 August 2021

Rest In Peace Homer

In 2010 after a young black cat was born his mother went crazy and killed all of his siblings not long after they were born. Luckily for him the cat’s owners managed to get to him before his mother did. They cared for him and reared him by hand, nick-naming him “Titch” as he grew into a big bruiser of a thing.

A year or so later they had to find a new home for him, and that’s where I come in. After replying to an online ad my brother went to collect him, and he became a member of our family. The “Titch” moniker was more of a nickname, so I decided to name him after my favourite comedy character, Homer Simpson.

Sunday, 8 August 2021

The Two Sheds Mix Tapes 52-55: The Genesis Effect *UPDATED AUGUST 8TH*

They were considered giants of progressive rock before they morphed into one of the giants of 80’s rock, and along the way their members have forged successful solo careers and seconds bands. They’re also one of my all-time favourites, so it seems fitting that the mighty Genesis gets The Two Sheds Mix Tape treatment.

Friday, 16 July 2021

What Were You Doing When You Were 19?

Can I ask you, what were you were doing when you were 19 years old?

Me? I was washing dishes in a local hotel, enjoying free beer in the hotel bar while getting occasionally drunk, and spending a great deal of my wages on tapes and compact discs in my local branch of Woolworths.

I wasn’t standing in the middle of 60,000 people in a stadium or a television audience of 31 million, about to take a penalty that could send the nation into a rapturous celebration or a deep depression.

Tuesday, 6 July 2021

They'll Still Watch EastEnders

One of the things that covid anti-vaxxers seem to go on about a great deal is their distrust for mainstream media. Since the pandemic began they’ve constantly told us that companies such as the BBC, ITV and Sky have been lying to use about everything, and that their news and current affairs programmes are all a part of some big worldwide conspiracy to control us.

They tell us that we should boycott them, that we shouldn’t watch their news output, but when they tell us this they seem to forget something.

Monday, 5 July 2021

The Cricket Was Great, But There Was Something Missing

I was watching the World Test Championship final between New Zealand and India a couple of weeks ago (congratulations to New Zealand on their big win by the way). The standard of cricket on display was very high, as was expected from the best two teams in the world, but despite all of this there was something gnawing away at the back of my mind. There was something that didn’t seem right with the game, and I’m not talking about the days that were lost to the glorious British summer weather.

Friday, 2 July 2021

Should've Gone To Iceland

I was in a local supermarket today (not the one I work in) when I overheard a member of staff telling a customer how they were always "short staffed" and how they desperately needed new people.
I felt like asking her "if that's the case then why does your head office continually reject my applications, even though I have current supermarket experience?" (I applied for one of their constantly-advertised vacancies just a few days ago.)
Instead I just calmly walked past and got some of the tasty triple chocolate ice cream that Morrisons doesn't stock.

Tuesday, 1 June 2021

We're 21!

21 years ago this month The Two Sheds Review appeared for the first time. Why not show a little love by sharing this blog and liking it on social media. There's a lot more to this blog than professional wrestling and mixed martial arts you know!


Friday, 23 April 2021

The Two Sheds Mix Tape 51: Tribute to Jim Steinman

The music world is in mourning again with the passing of one of the greatest songwriters of all time, the great Jim Steinman.

Steinman will, without a doubt, be best remembered for his collaborations with Meat Loaf, beginning with their 1977 classic Bat Out of Hell. It really is one of the greatest albums of all time, and it wasn’t surprising that it stayed in the charts for so many years.

Twenty Years (and Two Days Ago) This Happened

So 20 years (and 2 days) ago this happened, my first ever live show review. To be completely honest I'm surprised that the powers-that-be haven't been all over social media with their usual boasts, biggest show in Britain at the time, 2,000 fans, you know the sort of things.

But then again maybe the people who constantly go on about what they've achieved over the years are finally taking the advice they used to give me and have stopped living in the past.

Anyway, enjoy this old review, a piece that sent me on a journey filled with good times and bad, full of promises that were never kept and debts that were never repaid.

If you want to watch the show it's available online somewhere. I'm not going to tell you where it is. After all, they never tell people where my site is!