The other day I was in my local record shop when I heard an irate customer who apparently wasn’t too happy with the music he’d purchased earlier in the day.
“This Rage Against The Machine album I brought not half an hour ago is too political!” he said.
“Beautiful guitar work though!” replied the sales assistant.
“The guitar work don’t enter into it!” said the customer. “I didn’t buy this album to hear about the political machinations of a supposedly corrupt governmental system! I expected to hear a whimsical song in the style of Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep!”
As you may have guess by now this didn’t actually happen, mainly because there hasn’t been a record shop in Cromer for over twenty years, and even if there was one it would be closed right now because of the corona virus pandemic.
“This Rage Against The Machine album I brought not half an hour ago is too political!” he said.
“Beautiful guitar work though!” replied the sales assistant.
“The guitar work don’t enter into it!” said the customer. “I didn’t buy this album to hear about the political machinations of a supposedly corrupt governmental system! I expected to hear a whimsical song in the style of Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep!”
As you may have guess by now this didn’t actually happen, mainly because there hasn’t been a record shop in Cromer for over twenty years, and even if there was one it would be closed right now because of the corona virus pandemic.
No, this little piece came to mind because of a story that made the rounds this week when it suddenly dawned on Twitter user Scott Castaneda that Rage Against The Machine’s music had a political edge to it. The fact that this only seemed to occur to him after a number of years caused quite a bit of response on social media, leaving some to ask what Mr. Castaneda thought the band were raging against. It even got the attention of the band’s guitarist Tom Morello.
So at a time when people are offended at the drop of a hat (and they’re probably offended when someone drops a hat), I began to wonder if there was a way that songs like Killing In The Name could be made less offensive. Then it occurred to me. Why not replace the lyrics with those modelled on a popular children’s song? Instead of….
Some of those that work forces,
Are the same that burn crosses.
Some of those that work forces,
Are the same that burn crosses.
You could replace them with…..
The wheels on the bus,
They go round and round.
The wheels on the bus,
They go round and round.
Their version of Volume 10’s Pistol Grip Pump could also undergo a change…..
I’ve got a little pup on my lap at all times,
I’ve got a little pup on my lap at all times,
I’ve got a little pup on my lap at all times,
You can be playing with other people’s dogs but you can’t be playing with mine.
Maybe Zach, Tom and the boys could rewrite all of their old songs so people won’t be offended by them. Alternatively, people could stop being massive snowflakes and stop being offended by anything and everything.
So at a time when people are offended at the drop of a hat (and they’re probably offended when someone drops a hat), I began to wonder if there was a way that songs like Killing In The Name could be made less offensive. Then it occurred to me. Why not replace the lyrics with those modelled on a popular children’s song? Instead of….
Some of those that work forces,
Are the same that burn crosses.
Some of those that work forces,
Are the same that burn crosses.
You could replace them with…..
The wheels on the bus,
They go round and round.
The wheels on the bus,
They go round and round.
Their version of Volume 10’s Pistol Grip Pump could also undergo a change…..
I’ve got a little pup on my lap at all times,
I’ve got a little pup on my lap at all times,
I’ve got a little pup on my lap at all times,
You can be playing with other people’s dogs but you can’t be playing with mine.
Maybe Zach, Tom and the boys could rewrite all of their old songs so people won’t be offended by them. Alternatively, people could stop being massive snowflakes and stop being offended by anything and everything.
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